Confessions of a Dianetics Drop-out

L. Ron Hubbard demonstrates his invention the E-Meter.
The Master with his finger on the pulse of something or other.

No doubt about it – my un-Holy Trinity of stimuli makes me the man I am today – the man who voluntarily takes the Scientology Personality Test on each side of the Atlantic and thereby experiences a telling example of the vast cultural divide between Britain and America.

  • In London, unattractive Scientology losers strong-arm passers-by into a grimy storefront. 
  • In Hollywood, attractive Scientology losers seduce passers-by into a glitzy headquarters. 

Desperation vs. Décolletage

But, I’m a walk-in. No need to strong-arm or seduce me. Heck, I’d follow this aging Hollywood-blonde with ginormous silicone-wazoos anywhere. Yes, I confess that twice I take the Scientology Personality Test. I ruminate mightily over the questions and answer them honestly. Yet, twice, I fail. 

Q. Are you comfortable in the presence of children?

A. Only if they are restrained, unarmed or deceased. 

Q. Do you enjoy sex?

A. Not if it involves people, pelicans or potato salad.

Boy Outa Brooklyn a murder memoir by Jack Antonio
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