FLY INDIA

Your reporter recently got a cheery message courtesy of the lethally incompetent and lethally politicized National Health System of Great Britain.

Here it is –

Grinning skull with nurse cap
SHOULD YOU BE WORRIED ABOUT THE INDIA COVID-19 VARIANT?

Throughout the pandemic we’ve seen various mutations of COVID 19. The latest variant of concern originated in India.

This new variant is a reminder that the pandemic isn’t over. The world will need to continue taking measures to keep ourselves and our communities safe for some time to come.

Ominously, this latest threat of lockdowns-to-come happened just as Victoria, Australia went back into lockdown following a minuscule Covid outbreak as winter began down under.

For those of you whose knowledge of the Indian sub-continent consists of re-runs of Sabu movies allow me to explain that India was once the “Jewel in the Crown” of the British Empire. And, even though it won independence thanks to the efforts of that noted urine-drinker Mahatma Gandhi, it remains part of the British Commonwealth.

That’s why Indians can easily immigrate to Britain along with former colonials from Africa, Asia and the Caribbean. 

This is a perfect example of that dire warning –

“If we go there, they come here.”

This is why modern Britain looks more like Gandhi than Gladstone and more like Nairobi than Nottingham.

So, when this latest Covid variant reared its ugly head in the shit-caked sub-continent, half the population of Mumbai and Delhi packed up their begging bowls and high-tailed it to Britain. 

Ever vigilant, Prime Minister Boris “I’m the laziest, dumbest douche in England” Johnson sprang into action and ordered flights from India blocked two weeks from next Tuesday.

Indians may be infected and infested but dumb they ain’t. They used the wide window Johnson gave them to swarm into Britain (and anywhere else that would have them) in record numbers. 

The major airlines that brag about being concerned for passenger’s health and that they fully support BLM and LGBTQ+LMNOP and every other poison of our age, immediately tried to add more flights from India to Britain.

Betcha those “progressive” airlines tried to add flights worldwide.

To their credit (although they should have barred all flights from India immediately), all but one of the UK’s airports refused to add additional flights. The one exception was Birmingham Airport.

One look at the racial demographics of that city will explain why.

Hint: Birmingham is as British as a biryani.    

If you think I am being a mean ol’ racist consider that allowing possibly infected Indians into Britain jeopardizes Indians already there. Duh.

Hey, ya want racist?

Take a gander at the Hindu Caste System. It is apartheid, segregation and eugenics on steroids. And Indians flying into the West bring the caste system with them as a carry-on.

Hindu Caste system
Honest world travellers will tell you that the Indians and Chinese are the most racist races on earth.  

Meanwhile… We in the West are constantly told that we must import massive numbers of “brilliant” Indian IT engineers and coders or we won’t be able screw in a lightbulb.

Anyone who has endured the sheer hell of phoning an Indian call-center or computer help-line knows how preposterous that claim is.

Lissen ta me.

These Indian “geniuses” (with massive families in tow) are brought into the West to squat in low-pay IT jobs and keep out more qualified Whites who will demand better wages from the “progressive” Robber Barons of Silicon Valley.   

Lissen ta me.

Far from being a land of geniuses, India is a land of street-shitters.

Don’t believe me?

Find the TedTalks episode on youtube of the heavily disguised Indian academic who dares to tell the truth about the lack of basic hygiene in his homeland. He is heavily disguised lest those peaceable Indians cut him into pieces.

Hear him explain how Indians for all their brilliance have yet to figure out the care and feeding of an outhouse. So, excrement in its various forms – liquid, solid, steam and dust doth abound.

And that’s just the human excrement.

Don’t forget cows are sacred in India and they roam everywhere.

Pile of cow dung
Imagine, if you will, this hot steaming pile drying in the sun and the resulting shit-dust blowing onto everything and everyone.

Ever wonder why India produces so many boys with nine legs and girls with seven arms?  

Ever wonder why India is still plagued by leprosy, smallpox and well… plague?

Plague
Ya know Bubonic plague? The Black Death?

And, smallpox.

Smallpox
I don’t even wanna know what bigpox looks like.

And, leprosy.

Ya know… when your fingers, toes, arms and legs putrefy and fall off and you go blind? 

Leper
Yeah, that leprosy.

I’ll tell ya why India is still home to these scourges.

Coz it’s a fuckin’ shithole. 

And the denizens of this shithole are flooding into the West and the “progressive” airlines are doing everything they can to increase that flood.

India is teeming with holy men, gurus, seers and mystics. One of the current top shysters…er, I mean Sadhus is one Sadhguru. Think of him as a latter day Maharishi Mahesh Yogi – ya know, the holy snake oil salesman who entranced the Beatles, Beach Boys and half of Hollywood.

On youtube, see Sadhguru become indignant when a Westerner dares to question why India is so hygienically-challenged. He defends India’s status as an open-latrine as being glorious chaos that the Indians love.

Life is like a bloated, dead body floating in the Ganges, isn’t it?

If the Indians haven’t cleaned up their act since Buddah was a boy what makes ya think they ever will?

Hint: They won’t.

Outraged and offended Indians (and their apologists) can prove me wrong at a stroke. Forbid the Indian geniuses from leaving and put them to work solving India’s problems and healing the poor bastards afflicted with plague, smallpox and leprosy.

Seems practical and compassionate to me.

India is full of millionaires and Mensa members.

What’s stopping them?   

There may be a temporary pause in the filthy flood but, going forward, all the delights of Indian health and hygiene are coming to a country near you. In fact, many of those delights are already there. 

Feel better now?

Whether Covid is real or as dangerous as claimed, as long as the West allows free movement to and from the Third World, it will be vulnerable to endless pandemics real, imagined or manufactured.

Unless our borders are closed, the entire world will become the Third World.

Or, is that the agenda? 

So, how do we fix it?

I’ll tell ya how?

The solution is simple.

Flit gun
All that’s needed is the political will.  

I’ll let the incomparable Noel Coward have the last word.

Noel Coward quote on travel

______________________

Boy Outa Brooklyn a murder-memoir by Jack Antonio
Available as a paperback and eBook on amazon.com and amazon.co.uk and as an eBook here

COVID ANSWER #1

Robot Sam The Answer Man

First I made with the Covid Questions as to the how, why, who and wherefore of Covid craziness.

Now, I’ll make with the first of several answers.

Here’s one hint – it had nothing to do with medicine, science or reason. Mark my words, the telling histories of Covid 19 will be the psychological and behavioral studies. If they are ever allowed to be printed, that is.

“So, how did we get to this pretty pass?” I hear you cry.

#1

GROUP THINK

Cartoon of group think

All the third-rate minds who couldn’t cut it in the real world, work in academia, government and NGOs. One way or another we pay their exorbitant, undeserved salaries. Think of that Oxford numb-nut, Neil “We’re all gonna be dead by May 2020 but I’m too busy fucking my fat-pig married girlfriend while you’re all locked-down so I don’t give a shit” Ferguson.

Neil Ferguson
Mrs. Ferguson’s soy-boy son.

And, don’t forget Whatshisname – that mentally, morally and ethically challenged Ethiopian douchebag who runs W.H.O.

Vintage clown face
No serious corporation would hire those Bozos to ride shotgun on a garbage truck.

They and their ilk are terrified they might lose their reputations or tenure if they admit error so they double-down on their debunked ideas and predictions.

Their minions are terrified they might lose their jobs and pensions if they stick their heads above the “official opinion parapet” so, they go along with the boss.

They become classic “Yes Men.”

Cartoon of men following the leader
Mavericks get their asses outplaced and pronto!

 

Meanwhile, all the third-rate minds who put themselves forward as talking heads and pundits on TV and radio know that to get a book deal or that much coveted regular spot on CNN, MSNBC or the BBC, they must regurgitate the party line. And, most importantly, keep sheeple watching.

Mavericks get a one way ticket to Palookaville.

Man with his hair of fire
These prostitutes… er, I mean, opinions-for-hire know that if they run around with their hair on fire they will keep the Covidiots tuned in, thus selling ever more expensive advertising minutes. 
Don't Touch That Dial

It’s all about the shekels, goy.

________________________

Boy Outa Brooklyn a murder-memoir by Jack Antonio
Available as a paperback and eBook on amazon.com and amazon.co.uk and as an eBook here

COVID QUESTION #1

Vintage question mark

I had put my CDs and LPs in alphabetical order and was hunting for something else to fill my empty day when I decided to throw caution to the wind and send away for one of those snazzy, jet-age Covid-19 test-at-home kits. (Not available in stores.)  

The kit arrived a few days later in discrete plain brown wrapper and I opened it with trembling hands

Young boy opening a glowing box
Not since I got my Captain Video Magic Decoder Ring in the mail had I been so excited. I had a chance to be the first kid on my block to test positive for Covid.  

The test instructions were simple enough. I had to deep throat a Q-tip then jam said implement up each nostril and wiggle it around five times while facing West and whistling Dixie before sticking it into a small vial of magic elixir and mailing the sample back to the lab for the results. 

X-ray of nail being driven up a nose
Okay, so, it was a little trickier than I said. I had to place that swab just right or it meant instant lobotomy.

Then I read the small print. 

Mind you, this was a UK government approved Covid-19 test. The small print on the package clearly stated that a negative result did not mean I did not have Covid-19 and a positive result did not mean I did have Covid-19. But, wait, don’t touch that dial, there’s more … if perchance I got a positive result it was likely that the test had picked up a remnant of flu in my system.

Waaaiiittt one pea pickin’ minute here…  

Vintage cartoon of man scratching his head
Didn’t many scientists say a year ago that Covid was just the flu?

Hmmmnnn… so people are released from quarantine (or not) and allowed to fly (or not) or allowed to work (or not) based on the results of tests that the testers themselves admit are bullshit. 

What was that about spikes in cases? Cases of what exactly?

Pay attention in the back…

The hallowed NY Times reported that the most widely used test in the US was returning 93% false positives! 

The Supreme Court of Portugal found their test was returning 97% false positives!

A major lab in California could find no Covid in thousands of supposedly positive samples. 

Remember these facts the next time you are fed scare stories about a spike in Covid cases in Sweden which is (Ahem) doing just fine without lockdown.

Ya ask me these Covid cases are as phoney as a three dollar bill. They are as fake as the “derivatives” wished into being by those nice vampire-capitalists at Goldman Sachs. You remember, those “investment packages” that contained nothing but debt, were worth bupkis and nearly bankrupted us all back on 2008.

Hassids dumpster diving
A Goldman Sachs shareholder meeting in progress.

Folks, ya gotta know the real thing from the counterfeit.

As we say in Brooklyn, “Ya gotta know shit from Shinola.”

As Cole Porter said, “Is this the real turtle soup or merely the mock? Is this Granada I see or only Asbury Park?”

I’m reminded of these other plain-speaking truth-tellers.

Sam Goldwyn
Movie mogul Sam Goldwyn said, “Verbal agreements aren’t worth the paper they’re written on.”  
John Nance Garner
John Nance Garner, FDR’s VP said, “Being Vice President isn’t worth a bucket of warm piss. ”
The Steeplechase Park "Happy Face"
Jack Antonio said, “This pandemic is a media-massaged, politically manipulated mass-hysteria and popular delusion. Don’t be a chump. Don’t fall for it.”

_______________________

Boy Outa Brooklyn a murder-memoir by Jack Antonio
Available as an eBook and paperback from amazon.com and amazon.co.uk and as an ebook here

Roadmap to Blog Outa Brooklyn

Thanks for visiting my blog. It is a sampler of my murder-memoir Boy Outa Brooklyn. The best way to enjoy it is to start at the first post and read chronologically. I hope you’ll find it both hilarious and horrifying.

I will also be posting about the best books, movies and songs about Brooklyn. And, sharing my practical and off-beat travel tips. If you enjoy my blog, please follow me. Hover your mouse in the lower right corner of the screen and a pop-up box will appear. Enter your email address and you’ll never miss one of my posts. Your address will not be sold or shared and you won’t be pestered with any sales cons.

Welcome to my Brooklyn,

Jack Antonio

Available as an eBook here

And as paperback and eBook here

amazon.com

and amazon.co.uk

Who was that masked man?

The posters below were placed side-by-side on the wall of the London tube.

Ya couldn’t make it up!

MAN WITH FACE COVERING 1969

Astronaut in spacesuit

MAN WITH FACE COVERING 2021

Poster for Covid face masks

… and ya tell me over and over and over again, ya don’t believe we’re on the Eve of Destruction.

Boy Outa Brooklyn a murder-memoir by Jack Antonio
Available as an eBook and paperback from amazon.com and amazon.co.uk and as an eBook here

STOP THE PRESSES! #4

Retro cartoon of an old time newspaper boy.
Here’s my latest hard-boiled homage to the tough-guy reporters of yesteryear – Walter Winchell and Jimmy Cannon.

Get this straight – George Floyd died of a fentanyl overdose while resisting arrest. Get over it . . . The ugliest thing on two legs is any dame with tattoos on those legs . . . Take this to the bank – Roosevelt and Churchill knew Pearl Harbor was coming and let it happen. Brave souls dared to say it was a set-up as the ships were still smouldering . . . One foreign spy even sent the US military his secret photos of the Japs’ table top model of their attack. Those pix were deliberately buried . . .

Day of Infamy by John Toland
Read it and weep.

FDR was such an invalid that his doctors let him work only four hours a day . . .  His own party wanted to dump him . . . The slimy Roosevelt clung on to power and spent most of his presidency convalescing on boat and train trips that were disguised as government business . . . Jimmy Byrnes of South Carolina was the real president . . .  

James Byrnes with wife and dog.
The president you never heard of, uh… the one on the right.
FDR in leg braces
A rare photo of FDR’s leg braces.

The memoirs and diaries of reporters and diplomats reveal how shocked they were when they first met FDR and saw how sick and weak he was . . . The press protected FDR as it later protected JFK – another very sick man who was presented to America as an athlete full of vigor . . .

JFK in back brace
Ironically, the back-brace JFK wore kept his back straight but also kept him upright in the limo and open to the fatal head shot.

Had JFK survived his assassination in Dallas, his underlying health problems would have killed him during his second term . . . JFK was a notorious “Wham, bam, thank ya mam” Romeo. The amphetemine shots he got from a notorious “Dr. Feelgood” made him super horny and super fast . . .

Angie Dickinson.
Angie Dickinson fucked JFK and quipped, “It was the most exciting ninety seconds of my life.”

Speaking of speed – Fast One by Paul Cain is one of the all-time great hard-boiled crime novels . . . It was written in 1932 but makes tough-guy tomes written decades later read like sissy-stuff . . .

Poster of the film The Black Cat
Cain also wrote the screenplay for the underrated Karloff-Lugosi horror film The Black Cat
Boris Karloff in The Black Cat.
Karloff’s character in The Black Cat was based on the English Satanist Aleister Crowley.

Take this to the bank – Prohibition worked. It vastly reduced alcoholism and deaths from drunk driving . . . The movies and documentaries you’ve seen mocking Prohibition were made by people who had skin in the liquor racket . . . Algonquin Roundtable wits Dorothy Parker and Robert Benchley shared a subscription to a funeral industry magazine . . .

Cartoon of Dorothy Parker and Robert Benchley
The morbid duo washed with the same soap that morticians use on corpses

As long as we’re on the subject of soap – the holocaust mongers no longer claim the Germans turned Jews into soap. They’ve dropped that hooey about Jews being made into lampshades, too . . . It was a braver man than I who ate the first oyster . . .

Vintage ad for skin lightener
Many African-American millionaires made their fortunes selling skin lightener and hair straightener.
Madame CJ Walker
Yeah but they don’t tell you how the bitch made her millions.

Blacks, Asians and Orientals still punish their bodies in a hopeless attempt to look White. Don’t believe me? Check out the ads in the back of their magazines . . . Your reporter thinks they should stop this mutilation . . . Attila the Hun was very short but Napoleon was of average height . . . Sigmund Freud was a complete and conscious fraud . . . Siggie was also a dreadful GP and a lethal surgeon . . . He dredged his toxic theories up out of his personal sexual sewer and simply stole and invented the rest . . . Freud, who was Jewish, wrote to friends that he needed neurotic middle-class Jewish women as patients since they were not really ill and would never get well . . .

Sigmund Freud by Frederick Crews
What Freud said that was true wasn’t new and what he said that was new wasn’t true.

These days no self-respecting shrink uses Freudianism which is now considered the phrenology of the 20th century . . .  

Phrenological head

Today’s savvy shrinks look at the family photos of their patients coz all the pain and problems are on full display . . . Sound wacky? Visit the Freud Museum in London and cast your eyes over the Freud family album. It’s bleedin’ obvious that Freud was a sadistic creep . . .

Young Joseph Smith the Mormon prophet.
The Mormon Prophet Joseph Smith was another conscious fraud. But he came to believe his own hokum and became the most fascinating figure in American religious history

Shortly before his assassination in 1844, Smith spoke as one who knew he was about to die. He gazed into eternity and preached profound and terrifying truths about the nature of God and man . . .

George Fox founder of the Quakers
George Fox who founded the Quakers in the 1600s taught that there were men on the moon.
Quaker Oats box
Joseph Smith who founded Mormonism in the 1830s agreed that there were men on the moon but they looked like Quakers!

Sorry to go against the grain but I’ve never joined the cheerleading for The Great Gatsby . . . Give me Fitzgerald’s essays about the Roaring ’20s. They are masterpieces . . . Even better is Appointment in Samarra written by Fitzgeralds’s close friend John O’Hara . . .

Cover of Appointment in Samarra by John O'Hara
The Great American novel? Maybe.

After Barry Goldwater’s landslide defeat to Johnson in 1964 and when the Republican Party was at its lowest point in history, John O’Hara boldly predicted a Republican victory in 1968 . . . This newshound knows that when the mainstream media ridicules someone that someone is worth a second look . . . Take another gander at Silvio Berlusconi. He was the only leader to oppose the removal of Gaddafi and predicted that the fall of Libya would produce a flood of migrants from Africa into Europe . . .

Silvio Berlusconi
Now, ask yourself – who mocked Silvio and why?

I’ve never made it all the way through Some Like It Hot . . .  Say, don’t call me daffy – if Boris Johnson wanted to, he could stop the invasion of rapeugees into England via the Channel in a heartbeat . . . Wes Montgomery was a great jazz guitarist but I’ll take Kenny Burrell . . .

Kenny Burrell
Great guitarist. Great musician. Great teacher. The bum can sing, too!

If it weren’t for White fans both jazz and blues would have died decades ago . . . On the last day of his presidency Bill Clinton (acting against the advice of his aides) pardoned the Jewish criminal Mark Rich and the Jewish terrorist Susan Rosenberg . . .

Susan Rosenberg terrorist and BLM leader.
Call me old fashioned but I’ll take Angie Dickinson over this Hebraic hag any day.

Meanwhile – the more things change the more they remain the same . . .

The Jews behind the NAACP

Legend has it that L. Ron Hubbard founded the Church of Scientology on a bet with other sci-fi writers . . . Sssshhh, it’s an open secret that one of the top sci-fi writers lived for years on his own tropical island where he indulged his taste for young boys . . . The African country of Liberia was founded in 1822 under President James Monroe . . .

Monrovia, Liberia
That’s why Liberia’s lovely capital is named Monrovia.

Liberia was to be a haven and fresh start for freed American slaves . . . The first thing those freed slaves did when they got back home to Africa was get slaves . . . Meanwhile, on the other side of Africa . . .

Somali man with bloody head.
Somalis have the lowest IQs on earth aside from Australian aborigines.

Try this on for size – Minnesota has more Somalis than anywhere on earth aside from Somalia.

Burning store in Minneapolis during BLM riots.
What could possibly go wrong?
Boy Outa Brooklyn a murder-memoir by Jack Antonio
Available as an eBook here and as a paperback and ebook from amazon.com and amazon.co.uk

STOP THE PRESSES! #2

Vintage cartoon of newspaper boy
Here’s another hard-boiled homage to the two-fisted reporters of yesteryear – Walter Winchell and Jimmy Cannon.

The White liberals who cry and march for George Floyd would shit their pants and call the cops if he came near them . . . Abbott’s Frozen Custard in Rochester, N.Y. is the best in the universe – end of story . . . Margaret Sanger, the unhinged founder of Planned Parenthood, attended seances to contact the dead children she had abandoned . . .

Margaret Sanger as a young woman
Maggie was an unfaithful wife, a lethal mother and a Rosicrucian.

Is there a more annoying song than Hey Jude? . . . Whites are fleeing US cities at a record clip. So desperate are they to escape the coming race war that they are buying houses in rural America sight-unseen . . .

Black woman twerking in BLM riots
And people wonder why they flee.

The electric vibrator was invented to save the wrists and fingers of 19th century psychiatrists who spent much of their time masturbating neurotic, middle-class women to calm them down . . .

19th century vibrator

The straightjacket was used to prevent the insane from masturbating themselves bloody . . . The Kellogg Brothers were 7th Day Adventist fanatics who invented cold cereal as an anti-masturbation food . . .

Vintage Smith Brothers cough drops box.
God knows what these kinky bastards were up to!

If the Chinese ever get the whip hand in America the Blacks will scream, “Come back, Whitey. All is forgiven!” . . .  Other Orientals call the Chinese, “The Jews of the Orient” . . . Next time you’re in New York avoid Little Italy; there are no Italians left and the food is poison . . . But visit the nearby Tenement Museum to experience the “White privilege” enjoyed by European immigrants . . .  Mickey Mantle, the great Yankee ballplayer, dropped out of the 1961 home run race with Roger Maris coz he got an infection from a botched VD injection . . .

Mickey Mantle batting right.
“The Mick” bragged that he led the league every year in the clap.

Mickey got his clap shots from the same “Dr. Feelgood” who injected JFK, Nixon and most of Hollywood and Washington. We still don’t know what the good doctor was putting in his “vitamin” shots . . . Question: Does anyone actually read Toni Morrison or Maya Angelou? . . .

Phil Silvers and the Bilko platoon.
Many episodes of the classic sitcom Bilko were written by Neil Simon.

They were filmed in an old open-air silent film studio on a Bronx rooftop that had been enclosed for TV use . . .

Bettie Page
The iconic 1950s pin-up Bettie Page appeared on Bilko.

I never liked or believed Burt Lancaster, Kirk Douglas or Rock Hudson . . . Lancaster was in Harvey Weinstein’s league as a sexual predator . . . The Broadway composer Richard Rodgers was another notorious sex creep . . .

Richard Rodgers
If you didn’t fuck Mr. Rodgers you didn’t get into one of his squeaky clean musicals.

In the early 20th century, Atlanta was the center of silent film production. Then the Jewish movie moguls fled to the West Coast to avoid paying patent money to the gentile Thomas Edison . . . I don’t care what vegans say, there’s nuthin’ better in life than a rare prime rib with a baked potato and salad . . . Lucca and Gubbio are my favorite Italian towns. And, you can give me Siena over Florence every time . . . How can it make sense to social distance getting on and off a plane but sit cheek by jowl on the flight? Youth wants to know . . . George Floyd did five years for holding a gun to a pregnant Black woman’s stomach while his partners in crime stole everything she had . . . When’s the last time you saw a man smoking a pipe? . . .

Breakfast at Ruth's Diner in Salt Lake City.
Do yourself a favor and have breakfast at Ruth’s Diner in Salt Lake City.

Laurence Olivier’s Richard the Third is so good it hurts. He based his villainous make-up on the vile Broadway producer Jed Harris and the Big Bad Wolf . . .

The Big Bad Wolf
The vile Jed Harris.
Jed Harris
The Big Bad Wolf
Laurence Olivier as Richard the Third
See what I mean?

Ya think Rush Limbaugh will grow a pair before he dies and tell the truth about Jewish power and influence in America? . . . The great “commie-killer” Senator Joseph McCarthy is the most vilified and lied about figure in American history. He was rough but he was right. And the decrypted Cold War messages sent from the Soviet Union to its Washington embassy prove how right he was . . .

Sen. Joseph McCarthy with anti-McCarthyism headline
McCarthy’s friends John and Robert Kennedy served on his anti-communist committees.

Be-bop sucks and Charlie Parker is the most over-rated figure in American popular music . . . Tell me something, why do so many doctors wear bow ties? . . .

Luna Park, Coney Island at night
Coney Island circa 1900 – 1960 was even better then you can imagine. Forced integration and race riots killed it

Read Bruce Jay Friedman! He’s a darker Woody Allen and a funnier Philip Roth. He’ll make ya laugh and wince at the same time . . .  Dames with spaces between their front teeth are instantly endearing . . . Women shouldn’t be cops, firemen or soldiers and men who serve must meet stricter height and fitness requirements . . . The Antifa-BLM riots revealed how out of shape our police and National Guard have become . . .

Policemen wearing red high heels
Here’s that militarized police you’ve been hearing about!

Most of the Old Testament stories including Adam and Eve and Noah and the Ark were stolen from the Egyptians and Assyrians then cut and pasted together . . . The chief Biblical redactor was a female scribe in the court of King David . . . With any luck I’ll go to my grave without having read Marcel Proust or J.K. Rowling . . . In his best moments, Jerry Lewis was as funny as anyone. The rest of the time I want to slap him. Same with Lou Costello . . .

Lou Costello, Bela Lugosi and Glen Strange in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein
Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein is a very, very funny movie.

The Empire State Building was built in one year in the depths of the Depression! One year! Think about that! . . . Homeopathy and chiropractic are quackery and so is “European-style” osteopathy. But American osteopaths are actual doctors. Their medical schools haven’t been devalued with affirmative action admissions. So, if you’re in America and want a good doctor get an osteopath. He’ll have OD after his name . . . German Village in Columbus, Ohio is the prettiest neighborhood in America . . . Abstract-Expressionism was funded by the C.I.A. and like “conceptual” art it is nothing but a money laundering scam . . .

Action painting by Jackson Pollock
Paid for with your tax dollars!

Correction

In my last post, I wrote that the comic Mort Sahl said, “Lenny Bruce knew people use The Prophet by Gibran to get laid.” Not so. Lenny said it himself . . .  But Mort did have the brilliant line, “In my younger days, I dated actresses and other female impersonators” . . .  But enough about Meghan Markle.

Boy Outa Brooklyn a murder-memoir by Jack Antonio
Available as an eBook here and as a paperback an ebook at amazon.com and amazon.co.uk

STOP THE PRESSES!

Vintage cartoon of newsboy shouting Extra.

 I grew up in New York City in the 1950s – the last gasp of the Golden Age of newspaper columnists. These were the “gents room” journalists who sported trench coats and fedoras, smoked cigars and drank rye.

Vintage newspaperman at typewriter.

Walter Winchell and Jimmy Cannon were the “big beasts” whose columns brimmed with opinion, gossip, lies and even some facts. These one-finger typists wrote hard-boiled rants ripe with street smarts and sentimentality. They gave readers the lowdown on Broadway and City Hall and the straight skinny on Harlem and Wall Street. 

Walter Winchell at the radio microphone.
Winchell was so hated and feared that no one attended his funeral.
Jimmy Cannon famous New York sports writer.
Cannon was the quintessential sports reporter who also wrote about dames and daiquiris.

Winchell and Cannon punctuated their column items with three dots that captured the look and rhythm of machine gun bullet holes. Like this . . .

Here then is my homage to Walter Winchell and Jimmy Cannon . . .  

George Floyd was a violent career criminal and this reporter won’t miss his sorry ass one little bit . . . All women with pink hair and tattoos are skanks . . . I hate Oreos – always have, always will . . . If there’s a funnier writer in the English language than Charles Portis, I haven’t read him . . . If the world is facing an existential threat from Covid-19 then why in hell are any planes allowed to fly anywhere anytime anyhow? . . .  Buddy Guy and Dolly Parton are the most charismatic live performers I’ve ever seen. No one even comes close. . .  

Buddy Guy - Chicago blues guitarist and singer.
Without Buddy there’d be no Hendrix, no Clapton, no Stevie Ray.
Dolly Parton
She’s a force of nature on stage.

George Floyd killed himself with a drug OD. He had enough Fentanyl in him to stop a horse and Fentanyl creates the delusion that you can’t breathe even though you can . . . The pulp crime writers Henry and Frank Kane (no relation) are better than Dashiell Hammett and Raymond Chandler. So is Ed McBain . . . The smell of flowers reminds me of death . . .  Why do gay men always say “Miss” Judy Garland and “Miss” Peggy Lee?. . . Wanna know how and why the world was stampeded into Corona-panic? Read: Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds by Charles Mackay. He nailed it in 1841. That’s right – 1841 . . .  

Cover of Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds by Charles Mackay
Mackay knew that most people are sheeple.
Cartoon about the media spreading mass hysteria about Corona.
Mackay didn’t foresee the rise of the fake news media and its ethos of “If it bleeds, it leads.” The more frightened the sheeple are the more they watch TV and the more the media can charge for commercials.

Mainstream Jewish newspapers and organizations have bragged that Antifa is a Jewish revolutionary movement with roots in the Russian revolution and that any criticism of Antifa is anti-Semitic. So… by their own proud admission the Jews are behind this attempt at a violent overthrow of the US. Blacks are just their puppets. 

African American puppet.
Wait a minute… is that a six pointed star?

Cary Grant and Irene Dunne in high speed, comic-flow are as good as it will ever get . . . Climate change is a hoax designed to transfer wealth from White to Brown people . . . I’ve never met a good-looking commie – male or female . . .  All Hassidic Jews smell faintly of garlic . . . Virtue signalling Whites who support Black Lives Matter should move to Gary, Indiana or Camden, New Jersey to demonstrate they are truly “down with the struggle” . . . The jazz singer Johnny Hartman was the best of the “Sepia Sinatras” but he often strayed painfully off pitch . . .

Johnny Hartman album cover - Unforgettable.
Alas, no autotune in Johnny’s heyday.

The accordion and the zither should be outlawed . . . Ben & Jerry’s ice cream is over-priced slop. Breyer’s ice cream is the best in the world . . .  New Mexico policeman Lonnie Zamora didn’t see a crashed UFO in the desert. What he stumbled upon was the NASA testing of a moon landing craft . . .

Painting of Lonnie Zamora being a flying saucer.
And the training astronauts looked like Little Green Men.

The FBI infiltrated and controlled many of the UFO cults and contactee groups of the 1950s . . .   

Uriel of the Unarius Society.
Some like Uriel were harmless loons.
George Adamski - UFO contact and fraud.
Others like George Adamski were conscious frauds. But they were all watched, studied and manipulated.

Why are male psychics almost always swishy queens? . . . All imitation meat products promoted by vegetarians taste like a miscarriage on cardboard . . .

Meat substitute.
Is this before or after this “meat” has passed through the body processes?

Most of Lenny Bruce’s jokes don’t hold up but his routines about liberal hypocrisy get better with time . . .

Lenny Bruce being frisked.
White BLM supporters should be forced to listen to Lenny’s routine, “How to Relax Your Colored Friends at Parties.”

Mort Sahl, Bruce’s main competition, was never funny or dangerous . . .

Mort Sahl
Sahl had one great line though. He said, “Lenny Bruce knew that people use The Prophet to get laid.”

American acting never recovered from the pseudo-Freudian, method acting pushed in post-war NYC acting schools by left-wing Jews who flunked Psych 101 . . .

Sponge Bob on method acting

Montgomery Clift was the worst example of this constipated style of acting. I always want to smack him and scream, “Just say the fuckin’ line already”. . .  Steve Cochran on the other hand was a terrific actor. A real hell raiser. No mamby-pamby method acting bunk in his performances . . .

Steve Cochran and Sabrina
Here’s Steve helping a young actress with her breathing exercises. Whata guy!

The two convicted Black felons apprehended with George Floyd didn’t resist arrest and are alive . . . The FBI’s secret recording of the right-wing militia leader Joseph Milteer weeks before the JFK assassination is proof that people knew Kennedy was about to to be hit. The tapes are on youtube . . . 

JFK autopsy photo.
Milteer mentions shooting JFK with a rifle from an office building and that a patsy had been set-up.

Simple proof of a second gunman in Dealey Plaza is the cadence of the shots reported by everyone no matter how many total shots they heard. The cadence goes… BANG… BANGBANG.  There is no way Oswald could have fired his bolt action rifle twice that quickly.

Album cover Bang Bang my baby shot me down.
BANGBANG = second gunman

Bobby Kennedy never believed the Warren Commission . . . There was a second gunman in the hotel kitchen shooting at Bobby, too . . . There is intriguing evidence linking Canada’s wealthy Bronfman family to the Kennedy and Martin Luther King assassinations . . .

Movie poster for The Tall Target.
This Dick Powell movie from 1951 about an attempted assassination of Lincoln holds a chilling coincidence about the JFK assassination. Watch it and see. 

Ginger Rogers was a great dancer but she was also the most underrated actress of Hollywood’s Golden Age . . . Since being turned over to Black rule, South Africa has become an ungovernable shit hole . . . The same goes for Haiti where Blacks slaughtered the Whites and mulattoes over 200 years ago. The result? Port-au-Prince is the only capital city in the world without a sewage system . . .

Haitian making dirt cookies.
Freed from evil White domination, Haitians eat cookies made from dirt.   

I don’t care what aficionados say, the Edsel was ugly . . . Lili St. Cyr was the sexiest of the old-time strippers . . .

Lili St. Cyr unwrapping a box.
Lili would start her act in a bath and get dressed on stage. A reverse strip! Clever or what?

Malcolm X was a pimp who sold Black women to White men. He then had sex with men in prison. Maybe he liked it coz his wife complained that he was a flop in bed. Most of the tough-guy exploits in his best selling autobiography are the invention of Alex Haley who later plagiarized a White man’s novel and called it Roots. Haley settled with the original writer out of court . . .

Betty Shabazz
Mrs. X was later burned to death by Malcolm’s grandson. Then Malcolm’s daughter and granddaughter were arrested for animal cruelty and auto theft. Then his son was murdered in Mexico for refusing to pay a big bar bill he’d run up buying drinks for hookers. The Waltons they ain’t.

Louis Farrakhan the leader of the Nation of Islam is a Scientologist and a Mason. How does he remember which funny hat to wear and handshake to use? . . .

Book cover of The Secret Relationship Between Blacks and Jews
The Nation of Islam has published brilliant studies of the part Jews played in the slave trade and of the Leo Frank murder case. These books are banned by amazon but Jeff Bezos will sell you other books that claim to debunk the books written by the Nation of Islam. Hmmmnnnn…

Leo Frank was guilty as hell. He raped and murdered Mary Phagan and threw her down an elevator shaft. Frank was a sweatshop owner, rapist and murderer. Mary Phagan was only 13 so Frank was also a pedophile . . .

Mary Phagan alive.
Mary Phagan before she met that nice Mr. Frank.
Mary Phagan dead.
Mary Phagan after she met that nice Mr. Frank.

The Jewish Anti-Defamation League (ADL) was founded to defend Leo Frank. Its lawyers blamed the rape and murder on two innocent Black men who worked for Frank. You won’t learn this in Parade the Broadway musical about the case or in the many biased TV movies. Hey, remind me – who controls Broadway and TV? . . .

Watch for the next edition of STOP THE PRESSES!

Boy Outa Brooklyn a murder-mmoir by Jack Antonio
Available as an eBook here and as a paperback and eBook from amazon.com and amazon.co.uk

BROOKLYN BOOKS #5

I love reading good books – especially good books set in New York. I’m guessing you do to or you wouldn’t be here. And, I’m guessing that, like me, you love discovering book stores built over basements bursting with used books and then hunting and coughing your way through the dusty stacks.

I even have a recurring dream of descending into an imagined basement in a Manhattan slum and finding the used book store of my dreams. (Literally of my dreams.) For years, I’ve been returning to this seemingly limitless catacomb.   

The great joy of being a book hunter is stumbling over a new author, subject or world. Here are some of my most treasured discoveries – 

Psychic Dictatorship in America 

by Gerald B. Bryan (1940)

Guy and Edna Ballard – the Bonnie & Clyde of the Occult
  • An insider’s exposé of The Mighty I Am. This spiritualist cult was popular in the 1930s and is still around. The money-mad Ballards gave birth to many imitators and set the template for the entire New Age movement complete with fairies, fruitcakes and frauds. On orders from the Ascended Masters, adherents murdered their pets. No foolin’.

Instantaneous Personal Magnetism 

by Edmund Shaftesbury (1933) 

“Look into my eyes, stop fidgeting and remove your wet clothes… ”
  • Tips published by the International Magnetism Club based in Manchester, England. Chock full of lifesaving information on nerve tensing, magnetic foods, wet clothes, thin shoes and fidgets. Hey, these guys were from Manchester and that’s good enough for me. Betcha they were Masons, too.

Adventures with Vending Machines

by Ray Burkett (1967)

Vending sun tans in the 1940s.
And, people doubt that man landed on the moon.
  • The “straight skinny” from one-who-knows on how to make millions stocking gumball machines in garages and paperback book racks in drug stores. With special chapters on, condom vending machines, pay toilets, the salted-in-the-shell peanut racket and the ever-fraught subject of vending in negro locations.  

Analism Among the Poor 

by Preston Harriman (1970)

Part of Harriman’s multi-volume indictment of class struggle and lube.
  • Harriman’s oeuvre includes: Analism Among the Poor, Analism Among the Rich, Anal Girl, From Adultery to Analism and Oral Aunts. (Preston was either hungry for a change of pace, or had a very friendly aunt.) Sadly, I’ve found only the one work by Harriman but I live in hope. Still, I’m not sure I’d shake his hand at a book signing.
And you thought I was kidding!

But what does all this have to do with Joe the Engineer, I hear you cry. This –

You know how it is – your moving down the used book aisle, head tilted sideways, giving yourself scoliosis, scanning the book spines when a title catches your interest. You never heard of the author. The cover and blurbs intrigue you. You read the first sentence and next thing you know the clerk is telling you the store is closing. You blow the mildew from your lungs, brush the cobwebs from your clothes and head up to the cashier clutching gold-in-print. 

That’s how I found Joe the Engineer by Chuck Wachtel (1983). I stumbled over it in the used book basement of the original Sam Weller’s in Salt Lake City. I found Francine Prose, David Markson, Charles Portis, Sam Lypsyte and Tom Perrotta in similar basements around the world. (They haven’t written any “Brooklyn” books so I’m not featuring them on this blog. But, if you are a fan of dazzling prose, do yourself a favor and read them. Trust me. Just do it.) 

Anyone who has read my memoir Boy Outa Brooklyn will know that my opinion of the neighboring Borough of Queens is not high. Since Wachtel’s book is set in that hellhole, it’s not a “Brooklyn” book. But, since I grew up surrounded by “Joe the Engineers” and might have been one myself, and since it validates everything I’ve written about Queens and since it is so damn good and since this is my blog and I can do whatever I wanna do – I’m gonna do you a favor by making it my Brooklyn Book # 5. (So there.)

Joe the Engineer is quite simply one of the truest and most moving novels of working-class life ever written. I cannot recommend it highly enough. 

Chuck the Wachtel

Joe is a Vietnam vet stuck in a dead-end job reading meters in Queens basements and living in Richmond Hill – the same dead-end Queens neighborhood where he grew up.

Joe’s Richmond Hill, Queens is the evil twin my South Brooklyn.

Joe is saddled with half-assed intelligence and half-assed dreams. And, Wachtel does a masterful job of capturing the mind of a person who isn’t fully conscious of the “how and why” of his miserable state but senses that something is wrong somewhere. The working class is full of such “canaries in a coal mine.” The media loves to mock them when they are inarticulate in their rage and confusion but I’ve always heard them loud and clear.  

I’ve heard them because I am one of them. My antenna has always been finely attuned to pick up snide condescension from the elites. (That’s what cost Hillary Clinton the election. White workers ain’t dumb ya know.) So, I appreciated how “working-class Wachtel” applied his writer’s eye to our shared caste without snobbery or sentimentality. 

I especially enjoyed listening to Joe’s thoughts as he read his customer’s lives while reading their basement meters. I saw him as a blue-collar Howard Carter mining the minutiae of ancient Egyptian life from hieroglyphs though in Joe’s case it is from ancient wall calendars and broken toys.

In one exquisitely painful passage, the unhappily married Joe has a disastrous one-night-stand with a supermarket checkout girl.
 

I found a 1983 radio interview with Wachtel – the year Joe was published. I was pleased but not surprised to learn that one of Chuck’s literary models was Hubert Selby Jr. whose Last Exit to Brooklyn is one of my Brooklyn Books. I was less pleased and surprised that Wachtel sounded prissy and academic. And when he blithely stated that America was a “mulatto” nation, my antenna started twitching. “Mulatto” is code for White genocide. It’s shorthand for “Death to Joe the Engineer.”

Happily, in 2020, “mulatto” is still not the norm in America and race-mixing is frowned upon by the vast majority of all races. (Don’t believe me? Listen to minority talk radio.) And, it was certainly not the rule fifty years ago despite Wachtel’s best wishes. However, due to the subversive work of those condescending elites (whom Wachtel chastised) and their fellow-travellers like, ironically, Chuck Wachtel himself, the Joe the Engineers of Richmond Hill and the world are being replaced. 

Joe’s parents circa 1950
The couple who bought Joe’s parent’s house.
Ya think they have racial consciousness?

Yes, the solidly White working-class Richmond Hill, Queens to which Joe returned after being used as cannon fodder in Viet Nam is now not open to his kind. For Richmond Hill, Queens is now known as Little India-Guyana-Trinidad and Tobago.     

Richmond Hill circa 2050.
Who needs water meters when there’s no water?

I eagerly sought out and read Wachtel’s other works which include poetry but, for me, Chuck is a one-hit-wonder. Still, as with those other liberal half-wits I’ve reviewed, Alfred Kazin and Pete Hamill, I’m gonna cut Chuck Wachtel some slack coz he wrote a beauty.  Do yourself a favor – read it!

There seems to be a movie in the works but I fear they’ll kill the book with politically correct crap. Betcha the supermarket check out girl is Black or Muslim. And, probably cast with Chuck’s approval. Never mind –  “I hereby pronounce Joe the Engineer an honorary Brooklyn Boy.”

Boy Outa Brooklyn a murder-memoir by Jack Antonio
Available as an eBook here
and as a paperback and eBook from
amazon.com
amazon.co.uk

Korona Kitsch

As I sit typing, my neighbors are out in the street banging pots and pans, cheering, whistling, blowing horns and setting off fireworks. They are waving to each other across the street and across garden fences. Some are weeping. All are bathing in an orgy of self-congratulatory virtue-signaling. 

Weeping North Korean soldiers.
Thursday nights in Britain.

In Britain, Thursday nights at 8PM have become a national circle jerk, a Korona Kitsch fest. It’s a mass public-display of lock-step sentimentality as we give thanks to the selfless saints who work in the National Health System.  

I am reminded of the North Koreans who must cry copious tears on demand before the tomb of their fallen great leader. Or else! Meanwhile, in Britain, at a time of supposedly unprecedented crisis, our monarch has never seemed so insignificant. For, in Britain, Corona rules not Elizabeth and kitsch is king. 

Weeping female North Korean soldiers
“All glory and power to our unassailable front-line workers, comrade!”   

Saccharin citizens have put “Thank You” notes on garbage cans to cheer our noble trashmen. Widdle kids have attached finger-painted rainbows to those same garbage cans. And, those scamps have pasted rainbows to the front windows of their houses to lift the spirits of our indomitable postmen. (If you can find one!)  

British trash bin decorated with rainbow and Thank You sign
Lift lid. Vomit. Close lid.

Worse. There have been regular street sing-alongs to such kitsch favorites as You’ll Never Walk Alone, When the Saints Go Marching In and (Please shoot me!) Imagine. All sung while maintaining social-distance, of course. 

Social media is then flooded with gushing declarations about how moving the songs were followed by the usual teenage girl emojis but posted, in fact, by post-menopausal women. Actually, the Corona-mania has transformed the population of Britain into a squealing, tearful pre-pubescent girl. And, this is the men! The women… 

Weeping female North Korean civilians
And this is on a good day!

Long gone are the British “stiff upper lip” and motto “Keep Calm and Carry On.” British media (especially the undeservedly acclaimed BBC) has become one big broadcast moan of dependency, vulnerability and entitlement. Every radio call-in show and TV chat show is now a “can-you-top-this” contest of Corona victimhood. 

Keep calm and Keep a stiff upper lip plaque
As if.

Readers of a certain age will remember the 1950s US TV show Queen for a Day in which pathetic women competed for prizes with their tales of misery. Audience applause decided if the gal who had lost a leg to cancer was more miserable than the one who had lost a husband to the bottle. (Younger readers in need of a good horrified-laugh are urged to find the show on Youtube.) So, I guess it makes sense that a country already used to being ruled by a monarch should embrace the idea of a national misery contest to decide which lucky citizen is to be crowned King or Queen Corona.  

Woman crowned Queen for a Day
The lucky winning loser!
Woman and applause meter on Queen for a Day
Sorry, sweetheart, leprosy only rates 2 on the Moan-O-Meter

Meanwhile, the latest UK government figures reveal that Corona kills at the negligible rate of about 0.11 as was predicted by honest epidemiologists months ago. And, it’s been confirmed that the official current UK death toll of 20,000 includes those who died with but not necessarily from Corona. “Can you say, massive exaggeration, boys and girls?”  

But, facts be damned, the wailing and gnashing of British teeth proceeds unabated. In this panic-demic the Brits are determined to run to their rooms, throw themselves on their beds and have a good old cry. 

Cartoon of wailing teenage girl with pigtails
The great British public in lockdown.

What caused this seismic shift in the British character?  

  1. Too much American culture? 
  2. Too much daycare? 
  3. Something in the water? 
  4. Something in the food?
  5. Climate change? 
  6. Cultural Marxism pushed by anti-Western rootless cosmopolitans?

Answers on a postcard.

Cartoon of lemmings going over a cliff
Yeah, I know it’s myth but it’s also every Thursday 8PM G.M.T.
Boy Outa Brooklyn a murder-memoir by Jack Antonio
Available as a paperback and eBook
amazon.com
amazon.co.uk

And, as an ebook here