The Joys of Anal Sex with My Girlfriend’s Lesbian Mother’s Dead Dog

So, I got an email from amazon claiming that some of my recent reviews had not followed its “community guidelines” and had caused offence i.e. some of my reviews had cost Jeff Bezos a few shekels. Trust me, I write honest reviews good and bad. I like nothing better than praising a well written book or recommending a product that’s worth its price. Sadly, I don’t get to write either of those very often. But when a book or widget is good, I am fulsome in my praise. 

Quill pen dripping blood
If it’s crap, I dip my quill in venom and say so in strong but never vulgar language. In fact, my bad reviews are very funny. Sarcasm is the best revenge.   

 I got to thinkin’ about amazon’s “community guidelines” and what constitutes “offensive” material in the eyes of Jeff Bezos. So, I played a game. I entered every sexual kink and perversion I could think of (including ILLEGAL ones) into the amazon search engine and whatayaknow… 

Jeff Bezos laughing
Jeff Bezos is happily selling everything from Analingus to Zoophilia.
Shih Tzu with bow in hair
For those of you in the back of the classroom that means everything from sex with shit to sex with Shih Tzus.  Okay, that’s a cute little bow but, “Come on, Jeff.”

Don’t get me wrong. I’m no prude as my long-suffering readers can attest. My memoir Boy Outa Brooklyn is plenty dirty but it’s honest, clean dirt not juvenile jerk-off junk. Further, I believe that what consenting, adult Shih Tzus do in the privacy of their kennel is their business. But I wanna know how come books celebrating sex with the family or the family dog do not offend and are not against amazon’s “community guidelines ” while books questioning any part of the official “holocaust narrative” of WW2 or any aspect of the Covid-hoax are immediately censored?  

Hmmmnnnn…

Anti-smut poster 1960s
Call me old fashioned but amazon shouldn’t be encouraging sex with excrement or corpses. That’ll make ya waaayyy sicker than Covid 19.

Don’t believe me? Play my game yourself.

Vintage ad for family board game
Invent your own feeltheee search terms – the sicker the better. Guaranteed to supply hours o’ fun for the whole family.

Meanwhile, here are my favorite degenerate-discoveries for sale on amazon with the much vaunted “Jeff Bezos Seal of Approval” –  

Lesbian mother erotica
Barely legal girls erotica
Babysitter erotica
Suffocation erotica
PIss erotica
Rape fantasy erotica
TRannie rough sex erotica
Big penis erotica
Rubber bondage erotica
Circumcision erotoca
Rough sex fantasy erotica
Scatological erotica
Black teenage seduction erotica
Old and young sex erotica
Incest fantasy erotica
MILF erotica
Slave girl bondage erotica
Gay dad erotica
Pregnancy erotica

This next title is too good to miss –

Housewife Lesbian Babysitter

Lesbian babysitter porn
Piss porn
Canine erotica
Jailhouse trannie porn
Woman kissing skull

Remember that you can’t sell or buy books on amazon that in any way question the official “holocaust narrative” of WW2. But that doesn’t mean Jeff won’t sell you some holocaust porn… er, I meant to say holocaust erotica – a genre very popular in… Israel.

SS Experiment Love Camp

This fräulein gives Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS a run for the money. Believe it or not, The Toymaker and the Nazi Sadomasochist was not short-listed for a Pulitzer.

The Toymaker and the Nazi Sadomasochist

If we’re supposed to be worried about Covid infection when someone gets within three feet of us or doesn’t wear a mask then we better be worried big-time about getting within a mile of anyone who dreams of or dabbles in the depravities depicted above. You better pray they’re using hand sanitizer!

The National Socialists are condemned for being book burners. But they didn’t burn classics. They burned unnatural and unhealthy trash like the books for sale on ever-so progressive and enlightened amazon.

I, for one, say, “Burn, Baby, Burn!”

Boy Outa Brooklyn a murder-memoir by Jack Antonio
Available as an eBook and paperback from amazon.com and amazon.co.uk and as an eBook here

Etiquette for the Sexual Degenerate

1970s Times Square porn store
A well-mannered devotee of the erotic arts

In those golden days of yesteryear, there were strict codes of conduct in porn theaters and dirty bookstores. In the latter, it was thought rude to pick up a porn magazine immediately after another sticky-fingered voyeur had put it down. The girl in that magazine was still his girl. It was best to let some time pass and allow the couple to come to terms with their recent break-up. Then you were free to paw over Teenage Enema Bandits

sign for The Zoo Swingers Club in Times Square
Only well-behaved swingers need apply

In porn cinemas, as in all cinemas, it was held inconsiderate, threatening and sexually provocative to sit right next to, directly in front of or (worse) directly behind someone when there were other seats available. It pains me to report that some lost souls went to porn theaters expressly to jack-off or to be jacked-off. I was never among their number. My preference was to sit far apart, all the better to enjoy the mise en scène. And, to avoid being hit by recklessly extruded seminal fluid. 

Porn theaters, like strip-shows, were remarkably somber affairs. The men hunkered down to watch and/or wank in silence. No chitchat. No popcorn passing. Definitely no eye contact. You didn’t want to risk being recognized. 

“Murray, what the hell are you doing here?” 

Furthermore, a wisp too much eye-contact with the flaming Black fairies who walked up and down the center aisle, licking their lips while looking into laps, might suggest you were happy to let them get a lip-lock on your love-monkey. No. And again, no! Eyes straight ahead. 

Boy Outa Brooklyn a murder memoir by Jack Antonio
Image: the smiling face of Steeplechase Park in Coney Island, Brooklyn
Available as a paperback and eBook
amazon.com
amazon.co.uk
And as an eBook here https://books2read.com/The-Boy-Outa-Brooklyn
 

Don’t try this at home!

Gay men in a 1970s pre-AIDS leather bar
A bunch of the boys were whooping it up…

One night, Ray and Preacher take me to a notorious gay bar way west in Greenwich Village –The Toilet. (I ain’t makin’ this up – The Toilet!) The dress-style ranges from crotchless black-leather pants to crotchless black-leather pants with metal studs. And, the metal studs are on the penis, not the pants. While who knows what is going on in the back room, we are entertained out front by the floorshow. This consists of an acrobat pulling his upside-down body up a thick iron chain, link by link, with his anal sphincter muscles. Yes, this intrepid aerialist climbs up the chain with his asshole!

Boy Outa Brooklyn a murder memoir by Jack Antonio
Image: The smiling face of Steeplechase Park in Coney Island, Brooklyn
Available as a paperback and eBook amazon.com
amazon.co.uk
And as an eBook here