MASKS UNMASKED

Venetian mask

In high school English class, whenever we were told to submit an essay of more than two words in length, we immediately resorted to padding our work with a big fat quotation from the dictionary. Good for fifty words at least. (Hehehe.)

For example:

Jack Antonio: Sophomore 2A 

Subject: Literary themes

As we ponder the question of theme in James Fenimore Cooper’s immortal tome The Last of the Mohicans, it behoves us to reflect upon what Mister Merriam Webster had to say on the subject of literary themes. 

Then followed as much of the dictionary material as I dared risk sneaking by my teacher.

The Last of the Mohicans
Yeah, yeah, Chingachgook, I know now that Merriam Webster was two guys but I was sixteen then so gimme a break. If you’re so smart, you write the fuckin’ essay!

Therefore, in tribute to my literary criticisms of yore, I now choose to begin this essay on the theme of masks with a quotation from my main-man Merriam. 

Page from dictionary
MASK

/mask/

Noun

a covering for all or part of the face, worn as a disguise, or to amuse or terrify other people.

I am sure we can all agree with Merriam that masks have their time and place and have been part of the human experience for eons.  

TO DISGUISE

Zorro
Vintage photo of S&M woman in mask

TO AMUSE

Fidel Castro Halloween mask
S&M rubber suffocation mask

TO TERRIFY

Michelle Obama in mask
Joe Biden in mask

But the time and place for these Covid masks is not here and not now. As the Brits say, “They are well past their sell-by date.”  

Trust me, only pea brains wear masks while driving alone in a car or walking down the street or through a park or standing online at a shop or ATM or anythefuckwhere. 

Worst of all are the designer masks and worst of those are the masks that try to be funny or clever.

“Hey, you in the mask, lissen ta me now. I’m your best friend coz I’ll tell you the truth. You look like a fuckin’ jerk in that thing and your humor is tame and trite.”

TAKE THE MASK OFF   

Frightened little girl looking up at shadow
Children especially little children must see faces especially faces of adults and most especially faces of adult strangers in order to learn how to read faces for signs of safety or danger. 

It pains me every time I see a masked adult smiling at a child only to realize the kid can’t see that smile. 

The human face is the most expressive single thing in the animal kingdom. It is inhumane to deny humans access to their glorious instrument of communication.

Bert Lahr
The subtlety of meaning and mood that can be conveyed by the lifting of an eyebrow or the pursing of a lip is a wonder to behold and it is a crime that these miracles of expression have been censored from daily life for more than a year. 

Forget the emotional and psychological damage caused by the mask-mania, how about the health damage? 

Vintage photo of dentist
Dentists report that wearing masks is causing a  marked increase in tooth decay and gum disease. 
Face rash on child
Dermatologists report a marked increase in serious skin infections. 
Necrotic pneumonia
Pulmonologists report a marked increase in deadly pulmonary infections including pneumonia. 

So what does Tony “I’m not a real scientist but I play one on TV” Fauci suggest? 

Wear two and even three masks!

Anthony Fauci in mask
PURE GENIUS

Faithful readers of this blog will remember that over a year ago I reported that the Head Chemist (Pharmacist) at the UKs top drugstore chain warned that wearing masks was counter-productive and even dangerous.

They shut him up right quick! Last I heard, he was delivering prescriptions by row boat in the Outer Hebrides.

Sure, the all-knowing, all-powerful third-rate-minds at the CDC have announced a partial lifting of the mask mandate but that is subject to review and removal at any time.

Meanwhile, much of the world is still under full face lockdown. 

Vintage sketch of man in S&M muzzle
Watch and see how many sheeple continue to wear masks begging to be abused just as all good masochists beg for the lash. 

Don’t believe me?

Look at how many halfwits have happily embraced the mask and made it into a virtue signalling billboard,

Love Your Neighbor Covid mask
Black Lives Matter Covid mask

Then there are those money-grubbing scumbags who marketed ever more ridiculous variants of the muzzle.  

Woman wearing nose only Cover mask
Convenient while eating shit with both hands.

Oh, how we laughed while watching the movie Naked Gun when Leslie Nielsen and Priscilla Presley donned full body condoms at the height of the AIDS hysteria. 

Leslie Nielsen and Priscilla Presley
Honestly, can you imagine anyone being that stupid?

Welp…

High school band in Covid plastic bubbles
You heard of the boy in the bubble? Meet the band in the bubbles.

And, Daddy-O you ain’t heard a tuba wail some blues until you’ve heard it from inside a resealable baggie.

Remember that according to Merriam Webster masks are:

TO DISGUISE

TO AMUSE

TO TERRIFY

Covid mask as hand covering mouth
Don’t let them terrify you!

Take that filthy, useless rag off your face and breathe the air of health, reason and freedom.  

__________________________

Boy Outa Brooklyn a murder-memoir by Jack Antonio
Available as a paperback and eBook from amazon.com and amazon.co.uk and as an eBook here

The Joys of Anal Sex with My Girlfriend’s Lesbian Mother’s Dead Dog

So, I got an email from amazon claiming that some of my recent reviews had not followed its “community guidelines” and had caused offence i.e. some of my reviews had cost Jeff Bezos a few shekels. Trust me, I write honest reviews good and bad. I like nothing better than praising a well written book or recommending a product that’s worth its price. Sadly, I don’t get to write either of those very often. But when a book or widget is good, I am fulsome in my praise. 

Quill pen dripping blood
If it’s crap, I dip my quill in venom and say so in strong but never vulgar language. In fact, my bad reviews are very funny. Sarcasm is the best revenge.   

 I got to thinkin’ about amazon’s “community guidelines” and what constitutes “offensive” material in the eyes of Jeff Bezos. So, I played a game. I entered every sexual kink and perversion I could think of (including ILLEGAL ones) into the amazon search engine and whatayaknow… 

Jeff Bezos laughing
Jeff Bezos is happily selling everything from Analingus to Zoophilia.
Shih Tzu with bow in hair
For those of you in the back of the classroom that means everything from sex with shit to sex with Shih Tzus.  Okay, that’s a cute little bow but, “Come on, Jeff.”

Don’t get me wrong. I’m no prude as my long-suffering readers can attest. My memoir Boy Outa Brooklyn is plenty dirty but it’s honest, clean dirt not juvenile jerk-off junk. Further, I believe that what consenting, adult Shih Tzus do in the privacy of their kennel is their business. But I wanna know how come books celebrating sex with the family or the family dog do not offend and are not against amazon’s “community guidelines ” while books questioning any part of the official “holocaust narrative” of WW2 or any aspect of the Covid-hoax are immediately censored?  

Hmmmnnnn…

Anti-smut poster 1960s
Call me old fashioned but amazon shouldn’t be encouraging sex with excrement or corpses. That’ll make ya waaayyy sicker than Covid 19.

Don’t believe me? Play my game yourself.

Vintage ad for family board game
Invent your own feeltheee search terms – the sicker the better. Guaranteed to supply hours o’ fun for the whole family.

Meanwhile, here are my favorite degenerate-discoveries for sale on amazon with the much vaunted “Jeff Bezos Seal of Approval” –  

Lesbian mother erotica
Barely legal girls erotica
Babysitter erotica
Suffocation erotica
PIss erotica
Rape fantasy erotica
TRannie rough sex erotica
Big penis erotica
Rubber bondage erotica
Circumcision erotoca
Rough sex fantasy erotica
Scatological erotica
Black teenage seduction erotica
Old and young sex erotica
Incest fantasy erotica
MILF erotica
Slave girl bondage erotica
Gay dad erotica
Pregnancy erotica

This next title is too good to miss –

Housewife Lesbian Babysitter

Lesbian babysitter porn
Piss porn
Canine erotica
Jailhouse trannie porn
Woman kissing skull

Remember that you can’t sell or buy books on amazon that in any way question the official “holocaust narrative” of WW2. But that doesn’t mean Jeff won’t sell you some holocaust porn… er, I meant to say holocaust erotica – a genre very popular in… Israel.

SS Experiment Love Camp

This fräulein gives Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS a run for the money. Believe it or not, The Toymaker and the Nazi Sadomasochist was not short-listed for a Pulitzer.

The Toymaker and the Nazi Sadomasochist

If we’re supposed to be worried about Covid infection when someone gets within three feet of us or doesn’t wear a mask then we better be worried big-time about getting within a mile of anyone who dreams of or dabbles in the depravities depicted above. You better pray they’re using hand sanitizer!

The National Socialists are condemned for being book burners. But they didn’t burn classics. They burned unnatural and unhealthy trash like the books for sale on ever-so progressive and enlightened amazon.

I, for one, say, “Burn, Baby, Burn!”

Boy Outa Brooklyn a murder-memoir by Jack Antonio
Available as an eBook and paperback from amazon.com and amazon.co.uk and as an eBook here