You know how it is. You’re in the supermarket or the park or your car and you spot some stupid fuckin’ jackass wearing a mask.
You want to beat them to a bloody pulp.
But, alas, you don’t.
You sigh. You give thanks. You move on.
You despair.
And with the imbecile in the White House totally controlled by a certain group of rootless cosmopolitans who stand to profit from Covid mania, I fear we will be seeing these masked morons in our midst for the rest of our lives.
This post was a meditation on the ridiculous Covid mask mandates. And with some parents demanding the re-institution of masks in schools and the New York Times calling for masks in perpetuity for all, it has never been more timely.
In high school English class, whenever we were told to submit an essay of more than two words in length, we immediately resorted to padding our work with a big fat quotation from the dictionary. Good for fifty words at least. (Hehehe.)
For example:
Jack Antonio: Sophomore 2A
Subject: Literary themes
As we ponder the question of theme in James Fenimore Cooper’s immortal tome The Last of the Mohicans, it behoves us to reflect upon what Mister Merriam Webster had to say on the subject of literary themes.
Then followed as much of the dictionary material as I dared risk sneaking by my teacher.
Yeah, yeah, Chingachgook, I know now that Merriam Webster was two guys but I was sixteen then so gimme a break. If you’re so smart, you write the fuckin’ essay!
Therefore, in tribute to my literary criticisms of yore, I now choose to begin this essay on the theme of masks with a quotation from my main-man Merriam.
MASK
/mask/
Noun
a covering for all or part of the face, worn as a disguise, or to amuse or terrify other people.
I am sure we can all agree with Merriam that masks have their time and place and have been part of the human experience for eons.
TO DISGUISE
TO AMUSE
TO TERRIFY
But the time and place for these Covid masks is not here and not now. As the Brits say, “They are well past their sell-by date.”
Trust me, only pea brains wear masks while driving alone in a car or walking down the street or through a park or standing online at a shop or ATM or anythefuckwhere.
Worst of all are the designer masks and worst of those are the masks that try to be funny or clever.
“Hey, you in the mask, lissen ta me now. I’m your best friend coz I’ll tell you the truth. You look like a fuckin’ jerk in that thing and your humor is tame and trite.”
TAKE THE MASK OFF
Children especially little children must see faces especially faces of adults and most especially faces of adult strangers in order to learn how to read faces for signs of safety or danger.
It pains me every time I see a masked adult smiling at a child only to realize the kid can’t see that smile.
The human face is the most expressive single thing in the animal kingdom. It is inhumane to deny humans access to their glorious instrument of communication.
The subtlety of meaning and mood that can be conveyed by the lifting of an eyebrow or the pursing of a lip is a wonder to behold and it is a crime that these miracles of expression have been censored from daily life for more than a year.
Forget the emotional and psychological damage caused by the mask-mania, how about the health damage?
Dentists report that wearing masks is causing a marked increase in tooth decay and gum disease.
Dermatologists report a marked increase in serious skin infections.
Pulmonologists report a marked increase in deadly pulmonary infections including pneumonia.
So what does Tony “I’m not a real scientist but I play one on TV” Fauci suggest?
Wear two and even three masks!
PURE GENIUS
Faithful readers of this blog will remember that over a year ago I reported that the Head Chemist (Pharmacist) at the UKs top drugstore chain warned that wearing masks was counter-productive and even dangerous.
They shut him up right quick! Last I heard, he was delivering prescriptions by row boat in the Outer Hebrides.
Sure, the all-knowing, all-powerful third-rate-minds at the CDC have announced a partial lifting of the mask mandate but that is subject to review and removal at any time.
Meanwhile, much of the world is still under full face lockdown.
Watch and see how many sheeple continue to wear masks begging to be abused just as all good masochists beg for the lash.
Don’t believe me?
Look at how many halfwits have happily embraced the mask and made it into a virtue signalling billboard,
Then there are those money-grubbing scumbags who marketed ever more ridiculous variants of the muzzle.
Convenient while eating shit with both hands.
Oh, how we laughed while watching the movie Naked Gun when Leslie Nielsen and Priscilla Presley donned full body condoms at the height of the AIDS hysteria.
Honestly, can you imagine anyone being that stupid?
Welp…
You heard of the boy in the bubble? Meet the band in the bubbles.
And, Daddy-O you ain’t heard a tuba wail some blues until you’ve heard it from inside a resealable baggie.
Remember that according to Merriam Webster masks are:
TO DISGUISE
TO AMUSE
TO TERRIFY
Don’t let them terrify you!
Take that filthy, useless rag off your face and breathe the air of health, reason and freedom.
Boy Outa Brooklyn 