CALLING ALL BOYS

Vintage photo of young boy yelling

Okay, fellas, lissen up!

Last time out, I took the ladies on a tour of vintage how-to books plus ads in magazines and comic books to see what wisdom and good ol’ common sense was available to their grandmothers and even great-grandmothers.

Now, it’s your turn.

Believe it or not, there was a time when every boy was expected to be (and wanted to be) handy around the house and handy with his fists.

vintage ad for chemistry set
Curious and capable.
Vintage ad for Boy radio repair
Strong and straight.
Handy Andy tool set
Skilled.

Our enemies feared this breed of boy and began a constant campaign of criticism and ridicule against all the manly virtues that had been the norm.

The result?

The making of the Modern Male

Several generations of sissies who mutilate their bodies and are incapable of throwing a ball, changing a lightbulb, cooking a steak or winning fair maiden’s heart.

Vintage ad - Hey Skinny yer ribs are showing

If you are one of these suicides-in-training, I urge you to follow the advice of yesteryear and snap the fuck out of your deluded, deballed, deracinated life and fight your way back to he-man health and happiness.

If you are a mother, please raise your boys to be men not feminized mama’s boys.

If you are a woman, do yourself a favor and encourage the boys and men in your life to act like real men.

Ladies, you’ll thank me for it.

Ready, boys? Repeat after me, “Curls for the girls!

Vintage photo - young boys lifting barbell
Weight lifting is a cheap, fast and easy way to gain muscle, lose flab and increase testosterone.

No excuses! You’re never too young or too old to get fit.

Bernard Macfadden at 65
The health “nut” Bernard Macfadden at 65.

Hey, ya wanna meet girls?

Stop playing computer games and start playing a musical instrument.

vintage ad - Play Like Elvis
Vintage ad - It's so easy to be popular

Chicks really dig drummers!

Hitler Youth Drummer
They laughed when I sat down at the piano

Yo, Dudes, learn to dance!

Girls love to dance and they love boys who can dance!

Vintage ad Learn to Bop

vintage ad - America Is A Dancing Land
Go to church dances and you will meet great girls!

Don’t forget what they say about artists and models…

Vintage ad for art instruction
Invite a dame up to your pad to see your etchings.

Remember – our enemy wants you to be dumbed-down, doped-up, docile and dependent.

Don’t be that dipshit.

Read, read and then read some more!

Vintage photo of young boy reading
vintage ad Find Your Future in books
Man overbored? Toss him a good book

You are the keepers of the flame!

You are the keepers of the watch!

You must hit the bullseye every time.

Vintage archery ads
Vintage ad for Bow and Arrow

You must keep your powder dry!

Vintage Bicycle gun holder ad

Vintage Remington gun Christmas ad

Vintage shooting' shell ad

Even The Bambino knew…

Vintage Babe Ruth gun ad

Armed with all those skills, you will be ready for your most important duty in life – being guardian of the family and our children’s future.

Thanksgiving Dinner
Our eternal enemies hate and fear everything this image represents. That’s why they mock it.

Boys, it’s time to grow up!

It’s time to put away your toys and become men!

Protect the Family - Reject Degeneracy

Boy Outa Brooklyn a murder-memoir by Jack Antonio
Available as an eBook and paperback from amazon.com and amazon.co.uk and as an eBook here

Calling All Girls

Cartoon of town crier

While taking a break from rearranging my sock drawer and staring at the wall, I somehow stumbled across some vintage book covers and magazine ads. They seem to be from a pre-Jurassic world yet could not be more timely. I guess it’s true, “The more things change…”

It’s funny/tragic to see how straightforward and commonsensical things were “back then” and to see how much we have forgotten and can still learn from those who came before.

So grab a cup o’ Joe and stroll with me through this treasure trove of timeless advice for women.

Vintage magazine ad for female self-defense

Vintage magazine ad for armed woman and burglar

Vintage book cover for How to Use Jiu Jitsu

Vintage ad fro Colt pistol

Vintage book cover for female self-defense book

Book cover: Thank God I had a gun

The advice of yesteryear wasn’t just about being handy with your fists and shootin’ iron; though having a “classy chassis” and putting a tight grouping of six shots in an intruder’s torso is nothing to sneeze at. No, that advice was all about having a sound mind in a sound body.

Priceless wisdom then and even more so now and it holds double for men!

Vintage ad promoting reading

Read. Read. Read.

Read everything that’s not nailed down.

Read kitsch. Read classics.

Read.

Vintage book cover promoting reading by girls

Get off your phone.

Turn off your TV.

Read.

Vintage cartoon of winking woman

Men do make passes at girls who wear glasses!

Vintage cartoon of woking man.

Ladies, we need your feminine aspect, your wit, your wiles, your womanliness at its most natural and nurturing.

In the coming time of tribulation, we will need all of that plus we need you to be legally locked and loaded for bear!

Remember. Remember. Remember.

Defending Your People is a social duty
Boy Outa Brooklyn a murder memoir by Jack Antonio
Available as an eBook and paperback from amazon.com and amazon.co.uk and as an eBook here

Comic-book Cosmic Consciousness

Vintage comic-book ad for The Rosicrucians.
Sirhan Sirhan’s mystery school of choice.

The Rosicrucians are those mail-order mystics who promise to teach you the “Wisdom of the Ancients” in weekly installments. (Sirhan Sirhan, Robert Kennedy’s assassin, was a Rosicrucian and look what all that ancient wisdom did for him!) I first meet The Rosicrucians in comic books. Their ads about seeing into the future are next to ads for x-ray glasses for seeing through women’s clothes. The Rosicrucians claim to go all the way back to Ancient Egypt but actually only go all the way back to San Jose. 

Vintage comic-book ad for X-Ray Specs.
Every Brooklyn boy’s dream!
Boy Outa Brooklyn a murder memoir by Jack Antonio.
Image: The smiling face of Steeplechase Park in Coney Island, Brooklyn
Available as a paperback and eBook amazon.com
amazon.co.uk
And as an eBook here
https://books2read.com/The-Boy-Outa-Brooklyn
 

Stoop of Horror

Vintage horror comic book cover as read on the stoops of Brooklyn.
Classic stoop reading material

A few years after my exposure to photographs of kinky sex, I become addicted to visual depictions of violence. Every Thursday night I get my twenty-five cents allowance and hot-foot it to Rocco’s Candy Store to buy the latest comic books. I have no interest in sissy stuff like Archie or Richie Rich. I crave Tales from the Crypt and Vault of Horror. Actuallywhat I really crave are the skin mags on the top shelves. I crane my neck to see them until Rocco suggests that I leave his establishment, “Get da fuck outa here kid before I tell ya muddah.” I then hunker down on a stoop under a streetlight and read. So strong is my desire to escape the din and dysfunction in my home that I sit on the stoop even on winter nights. 

Ah, alone in my study at last. All I need are my pipe and slippers.

Boy Outa Brooklyn a murder memoir by Jack Antonio
Image: The smiling face of Steeplechase Park in Coney Island, Brooklyn
Available as a paperback and eBook amazon.com
amazon.co.uk
And as an eBook here
https://books2read.com/The-Boy-Outa-Brooklyn